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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721117">Love my way, it's a new road</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalmurasaki/pseuds/eternalmurasaki'>eternalmurasaki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, but who knows?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:27:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,410</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24721117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternalmurasaki/pseuds/eternalmurasaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It has to be the drinks he's had that are reminding him of how drunk Armie had been, that one night that had changed everything. Tim remembers his moment of realisation as if it were yesterday.</p><p>***</p><p>Timmy dealing with realisations that, surprise, he's in love with Armie.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love my way, it's a new road</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Timothée occasionally thinks of Armie's hand.</p><p>Armie's hand, gently resting on his shoulder.</p><p>Armie's hand, holding him tight, in a warm, warm embrace.</p><p>Armie's hand, holding his.</p><p>***</p><p>Sometimes Timothée hates his own hand. Hates the way he feels the urge to message Armie to tell him random stuff. Hates when he feels the urge to facetime him, just to see his precious smile.</p><p>Tim claws at his face and sighs.</p><p>When will he learn? How can he ever expect to get over his feelings if he doesn't even try to make them go away? </p><p>He <i>is</i> happy Armie is living the life he'd probably always wanted. Is it sick if seeing his family pictures doesn't make Tim love him any less?</p><p><i>Happy?</i> Well, not exactly.</p><p>Tim wishes he could be happy with no pain below the surface. With no wish that life could have gone differently.</p><p>***</p><p>Timmy has been keeping his distance and Armie must have noticed by now. They still exchange short messages, and at first sight nothing would seem to be different.</p><p>
  <i>How else could I try to stop being in love with you? I don't know what else to do.</i>
</p><p>Timmy can't exactly give that explanation, can he?</p><p>***</p><p>A few drinks in, Timmy is back to thinking about Armie's hand.</p><p>It has to be the drinks he's had that are reminding him of how drunk Armie had been, that one night that had changed everything. Tim remembers his moment of realisation as if it were yesterday.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <i>It had been a fun night with friends, most of them drunkenly singing along to old classics. Now that Timmy thinks of it, his realisation had probably happened before his mind had voiced his feelings. Just seeing Armie drunkenly singing had reminded him of their last scenes on set. Of that village where Armie's voice had echoed in empty streets.</i>
</p><p><i>Of that village where Armie had </i>kissed<i> him against the walls and Timmy immediately tried to shake that thought out of his head, because what the hell?!</i></p><p>
  <i>It wasn't thinking about it that was the problem. It was more the way his pulse had unexpectedly jumped. The way he suddenly felt something weird, and no-</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Singing, that was all he would think about.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Then Armie excitedly asked Nick to put on 'Love My Way' and Timmy groaned.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>A playful punch on the shoulder and the man did his silly dance. Trust him to dance in an even funnier way after a few drinks</i>
</p><p>'A kiss is not enough...'</p><p>
  <i>It sure as hell wasn't enough, Timmy told himself, because dammit, another kiss would be welcome. Tim tried to ignore his heart thumping. Because what the hell was this?? Again?!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"You alright buddy?" Armie asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"I'm fine, I just- need another drink."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>A laugh. Another clap on the shoulder. And way too many drinks.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>It had been a couple of hours later that the penny had dropped. When Armie was on all fours, throwing up outside. Timmy saying comforting words to him, holding his hand.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>And Armie, holding it back.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Armie, not letting go, even when he had stopped heaving but still needed to stay on the ground.</i>
</p><p><i>Then Timmy just knew. He likes Armie. He is </i>in love<i> with Armie. How pathetic can one be?</i></p><p>***</p><p>Armie is the last one Timmy would call pathetic, <i>he</i>'s the one who's pathetic.</p><p>He sometimes jokingly imagines himself telling Armie about it:</p><p>
  <i>'Hey, remember that one time you were throwing up and holding my hand? That's when I fell in love with you.'</i>
</p><p>Or more like, <i>'that's when I realised I was in love with you.'</i></p><p>Then he would end the conversation with <i>'pathetic, right?'</i> and would try to laugh it off.</p><p>He knows Armie wouldn't laugh, though. Hell, he knows exactly what face Armie would do.</p><p>He'd be gentle. Comforting.</p><p>He would hold him. Wipe his tears away, because of course Tim would cry.</p><p> </p><p>Tim wants to cry now. Because he knows he will never tell Armie about this and that he will just have to learn to live with this.</p><p>That damn hand.</p><p>Tim almost wishes Armie were a jerk. In a selfish hope that it would be easier to stop loving him.</p><p>But he has a feeling their friendship will never be easy from now on.</p><p>
  <i>Love my way, it's a new road</i><br/>
<i>I follow where my mind goes</i>
</p><p>Tim doesn't want to follow, but it's not like he has much choice.</p><p>
  <i>He loves Armie.</i>
</p><p>Armie must care about him too, because why else would he have kept holding his hand throughout that moment?</p><p>Timmy takes a deep breath and tries to stop thinking.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <b>December 27th</b>
</p><p>00:02</p><p>
  <i>Armie: Happy birthday Timmy Tim Tim. Hope you're having a blast.</i>
</p><p>00:10</p><p><i>Timmy: [Selfie featuring a bottle of vodka]</i>👍</p><p>00:13</p><p>
  <i>Armie: Ha ha, have fun at the club.</i>
</p><p>01:30</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: Armiiiiiiie. Why aren't you here :(</i>
</p><p><i>Armie: Sorry, bud. Tell me next time, I'll fly over. </i>❤</p><p><i>Timmy: </i>❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤</p><p>03:00</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: I wish u cud be here to hold my hand whgn I throw up.</i>
</p><p>03:10</p><p>
  <i>Armie: Jesus, Tim. Tell me someone is there to take you home. Text me when you are safe home, ok?</i>
</p><p>04:00</p><p>
  <i>Armie: Timmy???</i>
</p><p>04:30</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: just got home. Sorry. didn't throw up. I just felt like shit.</i>
</p><p>04:35</p><p>
  <i>Incoming call from Armie missed.</i>
</p><p>04:36</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: can't talk. Thank you Armie </i>❤❤.<i> Love you.</i>
</p><p>05:00 </p><p>
  <i>Armie: I love you too, Timothée. Please call me when you wake up. You don't deserve to be sad on your birthday. You don't deserve to be sad, ever.</i>
</p><p>***</p><p>Tim mentally curses the next morning. Of course he can't call Armie. What the fuck can he tell him?</p><p>Nothing. He'll just ignore him and pretend nothing ever happened.</p><p>That will have to work.</p><p> </p><p>Of course it doesn't.</p><p>20:14</p><p>
  <i>Incoming call from Armie missed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>'Hey, it's Armie. Call me? I hope you had a good day.</i>
</p><p>23:45</p><p>
  <i>Armie: I hope you are alright, Timothée. Your silence is worrying me. I hope whatever is bothering you will get better.</i>
</p><p>
  <b>December 28th</b>
</p><p>00:30</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: it won't.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Armie: Timmy... can we talk about it? </i>
</p><p>00:40</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: I don't think so. I'm sorry.</i>
</p><p>00:45</p><p>
  <i>Armie: don't apologize. I love you, okay? I just want you to be happy. Take care </i>❤. <i>Call me if there's anything I can do.</i>
</p><p>01:30</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: I love you too.</i>
</p><p>***</p><p>At this point Tim is scared of seeing Armie again. He is almost tempted to block his number but decides to not be a jerk.</p><p>By some kind of miracle, their exchanges gradually go back to normal, his attempt at taking his distance forgotten.</p><p>If he's lucky, maybe Armie will never bring up his drunk texting.</p><p>Or... if he's even luckier, maybe they'll share another drunk moment.</p><p>Fuck, no. No. He can't let his mind go there. Tim feels like the worst jerk for hoping such a thing. Liz doesn't deserve that.</p><p>But... just holding hands would do.</p><p>Just a long hug would do.</p><p>And maybe, just maybe, a confession mumbled against Armie's shoulder too. If he one day gets enough liquid courage to do so.</p><p>Armie would comfort him, and would probably know what to do, right?</p><p>Tim sighs.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <b>January 30</b>
</p><p>11:30</p><p>
  <i>Armie: How are you doing, bro? Nick is having a birthday party next week, you're invited. Please come?</i>
</p><p><i>Timmy: if you insist</i> 😈<br/>
<i>Timmy: haha ofc I'll be there.</i></p><p>
  <i>Armie: Awesome. I miss you.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Timmy: miss you too </i>😈🍸
</p><p>
  <i>Armie: Shut up </i>😂.<i> See ya</i>💜.
</p><p>Tim tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. Tries to ignore his skin prickling, as if he has a feeling something is going to happen.</p><p>Because nothing is going to happen, right?</p><p><i>Timmy: See ya</i> 😘<i>. Hope you'll sing our song again </i>🤩</p><p>
  <i>Armie:</i> 😂 <i>maybe.</i>
</p><p>Timmy drops on his bed, heart thudding like crazy. How is he supposed to survive one week like this?</p><p>Nothing will happen, <i>nothing</i>.</p><p>But his heart ignores anything his brain has to say.</p><p>Because Armie misses him and Armie said 'maybe' and...</p><p>
  <i>'Swallow all your tears my love</i><br/>
<i>And put on your new face</i><br/>
<i>You can never win or lose</i><br/>
<i>If you don't run the race'</i>
</p><p>Tim will run that race. This isn't about winning or losing... this is just about telling Armie he loves him.</p><p>Because Armie deserves to know he is loved.</p><p>Even if Timmy isn't loved back, Armie feeling loved will be worth it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the first time I'm writing Timmy/ Armie but I definitely intend to write more at some point ❤.<br/>I hope you enjoyed this, even though I kept it simple.</p><p>Thank you for reading a newbie author like me ❤.<br/>(I'm not new to reading Charmie though 😍😍)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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